Re: DoaJ Coordination thread

by **Aragorn** Fri Aug 27, 2010 1:14 am

Sorry about taking so long on writing this guys... My weekend got super busy fast and I started school so I had to get used to my schedule. It'll be tonight or tomorrow when it's posted. Working on it now.

by **Aardvark** Fri Aug 27, 2010 2:24 pm

Posted as well. I know the writing is sloppy in places, so you'll have to decipher some things on your own.

Ara, I like the overall plot to your segment, it's a good perspective to use, but I would have spent a little more time on description because it seems to jump at times from one action to the next, and I would have gone a little deeper into the feelings during combat instead of the sudden shifts from fine to dark side.

Not an insult, I usually find things I think might be changed, even in my own writing, but it was something I thought should be brought up because of the missing information.

by **Aragorn** Fri Aug 27, 2010 4:02 pm

Yeah, I completely agree. I wrote it last night in a rush to get on here since everyone's been waiting for awhile. I read it and I was like WTF!?!?!? I'll go back and make changes when I have time for sure.

by **Aardvark** Fri Aug 27, 2010 4:16 pm

I look forward to reading the revision then. Smile

by **Thing** Fri Aug 27, 2010 6:55 pm

Tsk, tsk, Ara.

Darkside ftl.

by **Aragorn** Fri Aug 27, 2010 7:14 pm

It's merely an allusion. I have yet to discuss with the writers plans A,B,C and Z

by **Aardvark** Fri Aug 27, 2010 7:37 pm

It's a good perspective to have. Many of the fighters at this point would be young and inexperienced, and the dark side is always an easy thing to slip into. You've already seen several indications of Sarus and Pto unconsciously slipping down that path. The effect on Jedi is something I couldn't use when I wrote Dawn's entrance because, well he's not a Jedi and neither are the Crusaders. Master level characters wouldn't be susceptible to such energies, but it's important to show what inexperience can do to the others.

by **Ptolemy** Mon Aug 30, 2010 6:08 pm

ok i have this setup for a map let me know what you think.

I have not started my piece as yet waiting to see if this will work.

DoaJ Coordination thread - Page 4 Doaj_e10

by **Thing** Mon Aug 30, 2010 7:20 pm

I guess...

by **Dray The Fingerless** Mon Aug 30, 2010 7:57 pm

SO, im back and i read the new posts. I think i have a plan to introduce my character. Suffice to say, im off planet fighting, and if you guys have any big squarrels your about to go into, that is a good window to introduce me.

by **Ptolemy** Mon Aug 30, 2010 9:03 pm

Actually i was going to intro you scouting and tracking a spai!

let me know if that is not kosher

by **tRibaL** Mon Aug 30, 2010 9:34 pm

just keep in mind im doing my intro with baz. so try not to take him.

by **Dray The Fingerless** Mon Aug 30, 2010 9:43 pm

Ptolemy wrote:Actually i was going to intro you scouting and tracking a spai!

let me know if that is not kosher

has aard spoken to you about my new ship?

by **Ptolemy** Mon Aug 30, 2010 9:49 pm

nothing is known about your new Uber ship

by **Aardvark** Tue Aug 31, 2010 12:24 am

Ship wouldn't be mentioned yet Dray, you'd be introduced in the middle of a conversation on a Star Destroyer then have the opportunity to continue as you want.

by **Dray The Fingerless** Tue Aug 31, 2010 12:25 am

AH well ok. whatever.

by **Aardvark** Tue Aug 31, 2010 12:27 am

Your character, your choice. We can just as easily pull in Galerm.

by **Dray The Fingerless** Tue Aug 31, 2010 12:30 am

I WILL MOST DEFINITLY accept this scenario.

by **Ptolemy** Tue Aug 31, 2010 7:09 pm

ok so...
we walk in to the med bay on the star destroyer Aardvark with a dying Dray on a bed talking to Thing. Thing tries to convince dray to accept the bacta tank treatment but the information that dray has is to important to wait.

As dray utters the last piece of information he dies and the med droids are unable to revive him. Sarus is Willed the Uber ship...

that work for ya?

by **Aardvark** Tue Aug 31, 2010 7:57 pm

I predict Dray will say: "I hate you..."

Anyway, the real plan is for Pto and Sarus to come aboard the ship, see Dray and Thing talking, interrupt, Pto gets his information and is off to Aragorn while Sarus stays with Dray to help root out the spy.

by **Ptolemy** Tue Aug 31, 2010 8:05 pm

you are no fun at all...

by **Thing** Tue Aug 31, 2010 8:08 pm

Why does dray have to die..?

Did I miss something?

by **Aardvark** Tue Aug 31, 2010 8:44 pm

Sure I am I just have to be tired, half-awake, or too doped on pain killers from the surgery. =P

And yes Thing, you missed [sarcasm][/sarcasm]

by **Ptolemy** Tue Aug 31, 2010 9:06 pm

Aardvark wrote:Sure I am I just have to be tired, half-awake, or too doped on pain killers from the surgery. =P

And yes Thing, you missed [sarcasm][/sarcasm]

mmmmm...

Pain killers...

by **Dray The Fingerless** Tue Aug 31, 2010 9:06 pm

i would then come back as a force ghost and haunt you till you die old man....

anyway, Thing is part of my crew now, and he is with me in this mission. My ship is somewhere...around. Hidden.

by Sponsored content