Re: Coaj Coordination Thread

[Dray The Fingerless]

action scenes are taken apart from the plot advancing. unless ur a good writter, and somehow mix both well. mostly its action, plot, action, plot. rarely action/plot. different thing

[Ptolemy]

Add some detail. even in the middle of an action sequence you can add a detail here or there, sweat, pushing, wide swing the reflection of weapons fire. All add to the scene. the things you wrote you have no real description of where they are except a cave on tatooine. waht does a cave on tatooine look like?

[Nihil]

^well yes, but during an action scene, like fighting, you want to pepper it with powerful adjectives and adverbs, but the description should be used more with scenes that don't have action, like when they aren't fighting.

But ya, you want to describe the setting of action whenever you write.

[tRibaL]

O.O i HATE ENGLISH CLASS!!!!! I WANT STUPID ENGLISH class BACK! lol ill try to follow your advice for you guys. ill do my best. thankya for the advice

[Dray The Fingerless]

well we ve told you the complex way. but if u want a easy way to achieve this:

close your eyes, and think about the action you just thought about. all of it. while you watch it in ur head, highlight certain points that happen. write them. i suggest playing it over n over in ur head, for every time you do, ull notice more n more things u can write. remember, this takes time, writting. so dont worry about that. when u finish, u structure evth, and should have a nice set. remember to separate thing accordingly, separate it where u want the reader to take a pause.

[tRibaL]

well we ve told you the complex way. but if u want a easy way to achieve this:

close your eyes, and think about the action you just thought about. all of it. while you watch it in ur head, highlight certain points that happen. write them. i suggest playing it over n over in ur head, for every time you do, ull notice more n more things u can write. remember, this takes time, writting. so dont worry about that. when u finish, u structure evth, and should have a nice set. remember to separate thing accordingly, separate it where u want the reader to take a pause.

O.O

SOMEBODY WHO PAYED ATTENTION IN ENGLISH CLASS?

lol all joking aside ill try that out. thankyou.

[Thing]

X, just make your changes to the other part of the story and PM it to Dray and I and we'll edit it for ya.

[Thing]

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM DOUBLE POST, BITCHES!!!


X, I just read your post and it's far superior than your last post, like WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY better.

Here are some things I noticed, that I liked...

You actually told who was saying what, which was the most confusing things about you're stories. Also, you're using more imagery, like "The room was cold and damp, unusual for the middle of a desert." That's the shit we wanna read, the stuff like that! A good idea would be to read over some of Aard's and Pt's posts. I mean, the stuff they write is great! You could learn a lot just by reading over their stuff. There was some things that kinda bugged me though... In the first part, sometimes you got a little too descriptive, if you know what I mean, all most slowing the story down a little. If it were more like the last parts of your story, you would be just dandy. Also, I noticed you were using apostrophes instead of quotes. This one isn't really anything wrong on story but, it can save a lot of time if you just press shift and press the apostrophe button.

I hope you don't take any of this the wrong way, I'm just giving advice from one friend to another. If you feel like we're just bugging you over little things, it's because we want this story to be awesome. We're probably gonna keep on buggin' ya until you get your stories to be at least on par with me (which isn't saying much as I'm the worst out of the original writers of the team, Dray being second ), but hopefully you'll get way better and get to like Aard and Ptolmey levels ( IT'S OVER 9000!!!), which won't be easy but you'll be a valued member to the cast. (SMILEY SPAM!!!)

[Aardvark]

Well my long-awaited segment is posted, or is that just over-due, or maybe just long xD

[Dray The Fingerless]

actually thing, my writting level is double over 9000. i just dont like typing a lot. i let kami do that. i do it for the lulz.(damn, vanity ftw).

[Nihil]

well we ve told you the complex way. but if u want a easy way to achieve this:

close your eyes, and think about the action you just thought about. all of it. while you watch it in ur head, highlight certain points that happen. write them. i suggest playing it over n over in ur head, for every time you do, ull notice more n more things u can write. remember, this takes time, writting. so dont worry about that. when u finish, u structure evth, and should have a nice set. remember to separate thing accordingly, separate it where u want the reader to take a pause.

good way of putting it dray

[Thing]

actually thing, my writting level is double over 9000. i just dont like typing a lot. i let kami do that. i do it for the lulz.(damn, vanity ftw).

[Dray The Fingerless]

actually thing, my writting level is double over 9000. i just dont like typing a lot. i let kami do that. i do it for the lulz.(damn, vanity ftw).

i could give you my essays...but they are in a language far more complex then english.

[Aragorn]

google translate or translate it yourself

[Nihil]

LOL, this is really OT,

[Aardvark]

Oi, here's a simple way of putting it. By displayed writing, Pto is closest to the level required to be a professional author, and honestly could probably be one if he decided that's the direction he wanted to go. Dray and Ara are recreational writers, they know how, they know what they want to do, but don't go into in-depth detail, preferring instead to just get it done. Dawn, Thing, and Xzavier fall into the category of beginning writer, they have a plan, but aren't sure how to execute it and are inexperienced with the details such as setting and mood. I tend to fall into a category of recreational writer, but also experienced in recreational writing, I read a lot so I can copy and modify details I see, and I get into the story when I write, I'm no where near author level, but I do write as best I can and have the experience to make it semi-enjoyable.

[Nihil]

pto's writing...

[Dray The Fingerless]

aaaaa a sparta joke....

[Dray The Fingerless]

google translate or translate it yourself

downgrading a language is the worst thing ever to do to show him skill. and google translate is a fucking joke lol.
nah, i would have to use some kind of english essay. but oh well.

[Nihil]

google translate or translate it yourself

downgrading a language is the worst thing ever to do to show him skill. and google translate is a fucking joke lol.
nah, i would have to use some kind of english essay. but oh well.

i agree, i wish that i could read the actual words that Remarque had actually written in All Quiet on the Western Front, because different languages, with different words, always have a different texture in context than their synonyms in another language.

[Dray The Fingerless]

upgrading a language is good, downgrading is bad.

i.e: English to Portuguese riches up. Portuguese to English riches down.

[Nihil]

are you trying to tell me that one language is better than another?

[Aardvark]

Different is better. Some languages have more implied meanings to their words, or their words mean more then one thing, these tend to be called romantic languages. Some are very direct and to the point, very technical, these tend to be called guttural languages. A guttural language is better when you're giving instructions, a romantic is better when you write for emotions or description.

[Aragorn]

romantic languages such as french,spanish,portuguese and the guttural languages are like german and hebrew. Languages like french and spanish have some guttural words but they are mostly romantic.

[Nihil]

Different is better. Some languages have more implied meanings to their words, or their words mean more then one thing, these tend to be called romantic languages. Some are very direct and to the point, very technical, these tend to be called guttural languages. A guttural language is better when you're giving instructions, a romantic is better when you write for emotions or description.

ya thats what i'm saying about reading remarque's all quiet on the western front in english, not german, because i know i'm not getting the same feelings that i would get if i knew german and read it in german


also romantic languages are called such because of this ROMAntic,

Roma=rome

roman = latin

and all romance languages have their basic roots in latin

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