Re: ***Official Funny Pic/Gif/Video thread***

[Atlas]

[Sqrl]

that is pretty cool actually lol. :3

[Atlas]

that is pretty cool actually lol. :3

You might wanna take a look at this...

[Atlas]

[Ptolemy]

Power Lines Fall on Crashed Vehicle, Driver Trapped: MyFoxPHOENIX.com

[Aragorn]

[Red-X]

>:| ... +rep

[Dray The Fingerless]

draft is obligatory for both sexes in portugal now i believe(well, its...whatcha call it...they call us in for a day to show some military shit and all. you dont have to go enlist and all, just you know...sign up in case there is a war in your country or sth like that, wich i guess is what a draft is, but im not sure its the samehere n there).

[Aardvark]

In the U.S. signing up for the Draft is just filling out a piece of paper on your 18th birthday so they have your number if they suddenly need more troops. You don't have to get trained or oriented. Of course I'm safe from the Draft here because i'm diabetic and therefore am not eligible for the armed forces.

I thought it was funny though and the Draft bit is correct unless you're a medical professional(Nurse, EMT, MD) then women don't have to register for the draft.

[Atlas]

Here its obligatory >=O

(Military training and serving in the army)

[Dray The Fingerless]

In the U.S. signing up for the Draft is just filling out a piece of paper on your 18th birthday so they have your number if they suddenly need more troops. You don't have to get trained or oriented. Of course I'm safe from the Draft here because i'm diabetic and therefore am not eligible for the armed forces.

I thought it was funny though and the Draft bit is correct unless you're a medical professional(Nurse, EMT, MD) then women don't have to register for the draft.

ok then, more or less the same. Here both women and men are obliged to draft(AFAIK).

[Ptolemy]

How to Hunt Elephants

MATHEMATICIANS hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwing out everything that is not an elephant, and catching one of whatever is left.

EXPERIENCED MATHEMATICIANS will attempt to prove the existence of at least one unique elephant before proceeding to step 1 as a subordinate exercise.

PROFESSORS OF MATHEMATICS will prove the existence of at least one unique elephant and then leave the detection and capture of an actual elephant as an exercise for their graduate students.

COMPUTER SCIENTISTS hunt elephants by exercising Algorithm A:

Go to Africa.
Start at the Cape of Good hope.
Work northward in an orderly manner, traversing the continent alternately east and west.
During each traverse pass,
Catch each animal seen.
Compare each animal caught to a known elephant.
Stop when a match is detected.

EXPERIENCED COMPUTER PROGRAMMERS modify Algorithm A by placing a known elephant in Cairo to ensure that the algorithm will terminate.

ASSEMBLY LANGUAGE PROGRAMMERS prefer to execute Algorithm A on their hands and knees.

DATABASE ADMINISTRATORS do not need to go out and capture elephants when they can retrieve them simply with an ad hoc query:

SELECT * FROM AFRICAN_CRITTERS
2 WHERE CRITTER_TYPE = 'TERRESTRIAL'
3 AND SIZE = 'LARGE'
4 AND COLOR = 'GRAY'
5 AND TRUNK ='YES'
6 AND ODOR IS NOT NULL;

ENGINEERS hunt elephants by going to Africa, catching gray animals at random, and stopping when any one of them weighs within plus or minus 15 percent of any previously observed elephant.

SYSTEMS INTEGRATION ENGINEERS are not so concerned with hunting elephants as with creating a seamless interface between the elephants and their environment.

ECONOMISTS don't hunt elephants, but they believe that if elephants are paid enough, they will hunt themselves.

STATISTICIANS hunt the first animal they see N times and call it an elephant.

CONSULTANTS don't hunt elephants, and many have never hunted anything at all, but they can be hired by the hour to advise those people who do.

OPERATIONS RESEARCH CONSULTANTS can also measure the correlation of hat size and bullet color to the efficiency of elephant-hunting strategies, if some one else will only identify the elephants.

POLITICIANS don't hunt elephants, but they will share the elephants you catch with the people who voted for them.

LAWYERS don't hunt elephants, but they do follow the herds around arguing about who owns the droppings.

SOFTWARE LAWYERS will claim that they own an entire herd based on the look and feel of one dropping.

VICE PRESIDENTS OF ENGINEERING, RESEARCH, AND DEVELOPMENT try hard to hunt elephants, but their staffs are designed to prevent it. When the vice president does get to hunt elephants, the staff will try to ensure that all possible elephants are completely pre-hunted before the vice president sees them. If the vice president does see a non-pre-hunted elephant, (in other words, a live one) the staff will:

compliment the vice president's keen eyesight and
enlarge itself to prevent any recurrence.

SENIOR MANAGERS set broad elephant-hunting policy based on the assumption that elephants are just like field mice, but with deeper voices.

QUALITY ASSURANCE INSPECTORS ignore the elephants and look for mistakes the other hunters made when they were packing the jeep.

SALES PEOPLE don't hunt elephants but spend their time selling elephants they haven't caught, for delivery two days before the season opens.

SOFTWARE SALES PEOPLE ship the first thing they catch and write up an invoice for an elephant.

HARDWARE SALES PEOPLE catch rabbits, paint them gray, and sell them as desktop elephants.

GRADUATE STUDENTS don't hunt elephants, but they sure enjoy driving around in jeeps.

[Atlas]

lol

[Dray The Fingerless]

ahah, ASSEMBLY programmers...so true.

[soran]

that joke is waaaaaaaaaaay to long to read

[Red-X]

[Atlas]

LMFAO hahahah that was awesome.

+rep

[Red-X]

um, we arnt jedi atlas. it's -rep

[Aragorn]

Red has it confused. It's plus rep for everyone if you like what they did.

[Silvarus]

aint its - rep if you're sith, and + rep if you're jedi?

[Aragorn]

No, it's + rep for everyone.

[Red-X]

pfft

[Nomad]

dont listen to traitor atlas

[Dr. Patient]

Red has it confused. It's plus rep for everyone if you like what they did.

[Nomad]

This forum has a reputation system enabled. I hope all our members can use it responsibly. You may rep someone up to 5 times per day, and you must post at least 25 posts before you can rep so new accounts cannot rep people. Jedi should be + repped, and Sith - repped if you approve of what they posted. If you disapprove, you should rep them the opposite, - for Jedi, + for Sith. A Jedi should want to have as high a rep as possible, while a Sith seeks the lowest rep possible.

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