DoaJ Coordination thread

Page 4 of 31 Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 17 ... 31  Next

View previous topic View next topic Go down

Re: DoaJ Coordination thread

Post by Aragorn on Fri Aug 27, 2010 1:14 am

Sorry about taking so long on writing this guys... My weekend got super busy fast and I started school so I had to get used to my schedule. It'll be tonight or tomorrow when it's posted. Working on it now.

_________________

~Current rank~




~Previous ranks~



avatar
Aragorn
Grand Master of the Jedi Order

Join date : 2009-10-21
+Light/-Dark : -79
Posts : 3282

Experience Points : 9578
Location : a book pertaining to some academic subject
Comments : Invincibility lies in the defence; the possibility of victory in the attack. ~ Sun Tzu

Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory. Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat. ~ Sun Tzu

Back to top Go down

Re: DoaJ Coordination thread

Post by Aardvark on Fri Aug 27, 2010 2:24 pm

Posted as well. I know the writing is sloppy in places, so you'll have to decipher some things on your own.

Ara, I like the overall plot to your segment, it's a good perspective to use, but I would have spent a little more time on description because it seems to jump at times from one action to the next, and I would have gone a little deeper into the feelings during combat instead of the sudden shifts from fine to dark side.

Not an insult, I usually find things I think might be changed, even in my own writing, but it was something I thought should be brought up because of the missing information.

_________________

Thanks to Dr.Rabbit for the epic sig ^.^

Current rank:




Previous ranks:












avatar
Aardvark
Prime Minister

Join date : 2009-10-21
+Light/-Dark : -194
Posts : 8522

Experience Points : 24547
Location : Maryland, U.S.A.
Comments : Likes: Games, Books, Anime, Star Wars.
Dislikes: Punks, Douches, Ignorant People.

Back to top Go down

Re: DoaJ Coordination thread

Post by Aragorn on Fri Aug 27, 2010 4:02 pm

Yeah, I completely agree. I wrote it last night in a rush to get on here since everyone's been waiting for awhile. I read it and I was like WTF!?!?!? I'll go back and make changes when I have time for sure.

_________________

~Current rank~




~Previous ranks~



avatar
Aragorn
Grand Master of the Jedi Order

Join date : 2009-10-21
+Light/-Dark : -79
Posts : 3282

Experience Points : 9578
Location : a book pertaining to some academic subject
Comments : Invincibility lies in the defence; the possibility of victory in the attack. ~ Sun Tzu

Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory. Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat. ~ Sun Tzu

Back to top Go down

Re: DoaJ Coordination thread

Post by Aardvark on Fri Aug 27, 2010 4:16 pm

I look forward to reading the revision then. Smile

_________________

Thanks to Dr.Rabbit for the epic sig ^.^

Current rank:




Previous ranks:












avatar
Aardvark
Prime Minister

Join date : 2009-10-21
+Light/-Dark : -194
Posts : 8522

Experience Points : 24547
Location : Maryland, U.S.A.
Comments : Likes: Games, Books, Anime, Star Wars.
Dislikes: Punks, Douches, Ignorant People.

Back to top Go down

Re: DoaJ Coordination thread

Post by Thing on Fri Aug 27, 2010 6:55 pm

Tsk, tsk, Ara.

Darkside ftl.

_________________


SGT Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band fan | DTT | I didn't say I pirated, but let's just say it's awesome.
avatar
Thing
Senator - Forum Enforcer

Join date : 2009-10-22
+Light/-Dark : 143
Posts : 6858

Experience Points : 15200
Location : New York
Comments : A is Atari, the first on the scene. B is Bits, be they 8 or 16. C for Controller Cords stretched ‘cross the floor. D for the Dreamcast, a console no more. E is Ecco, the porpoise-y sea hero. F is for Fantasies Final… Look, chocobos! G is for Genesis, 16-bit mirth. H is for Hyrule, land of Link’s birth. I is for Infocom’s text-based frivoloties. J is for John Carmack’s first-person novelties. K for Konami’s dark vampire tales. L for the Lemmings who march without fail. M is for Mario. Run, goombas, run! N for Nintendo, the first name is fun. O is for Oddworld, with games strage and clever. P is for Pac-Man, who caused quite a fever. Q is for Q-Bert’s curse-filled speech bubble. R is for Ridley, who gave Samus trouble. S is for Sonic, his fleet feet reknowned. T is for Tetris blocks falling in mounds. U is for Ulala’s fast, funky feet. V is for Video cards, fast obsolete. W for Wizardry; through dungeons we’d scurry. X for the Xbox, as big as Missouri. Y is for Yoshi, a plumber’s best friend. Z is for Zelda, and here this rhyme ends.
See ya in anothah life, brothah. - Desmond Hume




Back to top Go down

Re: DoaJ Coordination thread

Post by Aragorn on Fri Aug 27, 2010 7:14 pm

It's merely an allusion. I have yet to discuss with the writers plans A,B,C and Z

_________________

~Current rank~




~Previous ranks~



avatar
Aragorn
Grand Master of the Jedi Order

Join date : 2009-10-21
+Light/-Dark : -79
Posts : 3282

Experience Points : 9578
Location : a book pertaining to some academic subject
Comments : Invincibility lies in the defence; the possibility of victory in the attack. ~ Sun Tzu

Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory. Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat. ~ Sun Tzu

Back to top Go down

Re: DoaJ Coordination thread

Post by Aardvark on Fri Aug 27, 2010 7:37 pm

It's a good perspective to have. Many of the fighters at this point would be young and inexperienced, and the dark side is always an easy thing to slip into. You've already seen several indications of Sarus and Pto unconsciously slipping down that path. The effect on Jedi is something I couldn't use when I wrote Dawn's entrance because, well he's not a Jedi and neither are the Crusaders. Master level characters wouldn't be susceptible to such energies, but it's important to show what inexperience can do to the others.

_________________

Thanks to Dr.Rabbit for the epic sig ^.^

Current rank:




Previous ranks:












avatar
Aardvark
Prime Minister

Join date : 2009-10-21
+Light/-Dark : -194
Posts : 8522

Experience Points : 24547
Location : Maryland, U.S.A.
Comments : Likes: Games, Books, Anime, Star Wars.
Dislikes: Punks, Douches, Ignorant People.

Back to top Go down

Re: DoaJ Coordination thread

Post by Ptolemy on Mon Aug 30, 2010 6:08 pm

ok i have this setup for a map let me know what you think.

I have not started my piece as yet waiting to see if this will work.





_________________

Life is hard... Its even harder when you are stupid...
John Wayne








avatar
Ptolemy
Chancellor - Masters Council

Join date : 2009-10-22
+Light/-Dark : 95
Posts : 4647

Experience Points : 13391
Location : MN
Comments :

Back to top Go down

Re: DoaJ Coordination thread

Post by Thing on Mon Aug 30, 2010 7:20 pm

I guess...

_________________


SGT Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band fan | DTT | I didn't say I pirated, but let's just say it's awesome.
avatar
Thing
Senator - Forum Enforcer

Join date : 2009-10-22
+Light/-Dark : 143
Posts : 6858

Experience Points : 15200
Location : New York
Comments : A is Atari, the first on the scene. B is Bits, be they 8 or 16. C for Controller Cords stretched ‘cross the floor. D for the Dreamcast, a console no more. E is Ecco, the porpoise-y sea hero. F is for Fantasies Final… Look, chocobos! G is for Genesis, 16-bit mirth. H is for Hyrule, land of Link’s birth. I is for Infocom’s text-based frivoloties. J is for John Carmack’s first-person novelties. K for Konami’s dark vampire tales. L for the Lemmings who march without fail. M is for Mario. Run, goombas, run! N for Nintendo, the first name is fun. O is for Oddworld, with games strage and clever. P is for Pac-Man, who caused quite a fever. Q is for Q-Bert’s curse-filled speech bubble. R is for Ridley, who gave Samus trouble. S is for Sonic, his fleet feet reknowned. T is for Tetris blocks falling in mounds. U is for Ulala’s fast, funky feet. V is for Video cards, fast obsolete. W for Wizardry; through dungeons we’d scurry. X for the Xbox, as big as Missouri. Y is for Yoshi, a plumber’s best friend. Z is for Zelda, and here this rhyme ends.
See ya in anothah life, brothah. - Desmond Hume




Back to top Go down

Re: DoaJ Coordination thread

Post by Dray The Fingerless on Mon Aug 30, 2010 7:57 pm

SO, im back and i read the new posts. I think i have a plan to introduce my character. Suffice to say, im off planet fighting, and if you guys have any big squarrels your about to go into, that is a good window to introduce me.

_________________

"Life and power should be logarithmic"

avatar
Dray The Fingerless
Senate Representative

Join date : 2009-10-21
+Light/-Dark : 265
Posts : 10355

Experience Points : 24479
Location : your FACE is a location.
Comments : FIRST!

Back to top Go down

Re: DoaJ Coordination thread

Post by Ptolemy on Mon Aug 30, 2010 9:03 pm

Actually i was going to intro you scouting and tracking a spai!

let me know if that is not kosher

_________________

Life is hard... Its even harder when you are stupid...
John Wayne








avatar
Ptolemy
Chancellor - Masters Council

Join date : 2009-10-22
+Light/-Dark : 95
Posts : 4647

Experience Points : 13391
Location : MN
Comments :

Back to top Go down

Re: DoaJ Coordination thread

Post by tRibaL on Mon Aug 30, 2010 9:34 pm

just keep in mind im doing my intro with baz. so try not to take him.
avatar
tRibaL

Join date : 2009-11-03
+Light/-Dark : -2
Posts : 2267

Experience Points : 6649

Back to top Go down

Re: DoaJ Coordination thread

Post by Dray The Fingerless on Mon Aug 30, 2010 9:43 pm

Ptolemy wrote:Actually i was going to intro you scouting and tracking a spai!

let me know if that is not kosher

has aard spoken to you about my new ship?

_________________

"Life and power should be logarithmic"

avatar
Dray The Fingerless
Senate Representative

Join date : 2009-10-21
+Light/-Dark : 265
Posts : 10355

Experience Points : 24479
Location : your FACE is a location.
Comments : FIRST!

Back to top Go down

Re: DoaJ Coordination thread

Post by Ptolemy on Mon Aug 30, 2010 9:49 pm

nothing is known about your new Uber ship

_________________

Life is hard... Its even harder when you are stupid...
John Wayne








avatar
Ptolemy
Chancellor - Masters Council

Join date : 2009-10-22
+Light/-Dark : 95
Posts : 4647

Experience Points : 13391
Location : MN
Comments :

Back to top Go down

Re: DoaJ Coordination thread

Post by Aardvark on Tue Aug 31, 2010 12:24 am

Ship wouldn't be mentioned yet Dray, you'd be introduced in the middle of a conversation on a Star Destroyer then have the opportunity to continue as you want.

_________________

Thanks to Dr.Rabbit for the epic sig ^.^

Current rank:




Previous ranks:












avatar
Aardvark
Prime Minister

Join date : 2009-10-21
+Light/-Dark : -194
Posts : 8522

Experience Points : 24547
Location : Maryland, U.S.A.
Comments : Likes: Games, Books, Anime, Star Wars.
Dislikes: Punks, Douches, Ignorant People.

Back to top Go down

Re: DoaJ Coordination thread

Post by Dray The Fingerless on Tue Aug 31, 2010 12:25 am

AH well ok. whatever.

_________________

"Life and power should be logarithmic"

avatar
Dray The Fingerless
Senate Representative

Join date : 2009-10-21
+Light/-Dark : 265
Posts : 10355

Experience Points : 24479
Location : your FACE is a location.
Comments : FIRST!

Back to top Go down

Re: DoaJ Coordination thread

Post by Aardvark on Tue Aug 31, 2010 12:27 am

Your character, your choice. We can just as easily pull in Galerm.

_________________

Thanks to Dr.Rabbit for the epic sig ^.^

Current rank:




Previous ranks:












avatar
Aardvark
Prime Minister

Join date : 2009-10-21
+Light/-Dark : -194
Posts : 8522

Experience Points : 24547
Location : Maryland, U.S.A.
Comments : Likes: Games, Books, Anime, Star Wars.
Dislikes: Punks, Douches, Ignorant People.

Back to top Go down

Re: DoaJ Coordination thread

Post by Dray The Fingerless on Tue Aug 31, 2010 12:30 am

I WILL MOST DEFINITLY accept this scenario.

_________________

"Life and power should be logarithmic"

avatar
Dray The Fingerless
Senate Representative

Join date : 2009-10-21
+Light/-Dark : 265
Posts : 10355

Experience Points : 24479
Location : your FACE is a location.
Comments : FIRST!

Back to top Go down

Re: DoaJ Coordination thread

Post by Ptolemy on Tue Aug 31, 2010 7:09 pm

ok so...
we walk in to the med bay on the star destroyer Aardvark with a dying Dray on a bed talking to Thing. Thing tries to convince dray to accept the bacta tank treatment but the information that dray has is to important to wait.

As dray utters the last piece of information he dies and the med droids are unable to revive him. Sarus is Willed the Uber ship...

that work for ya?

_________________

Life is hard... Its even harder when you are stupid...
John Wayne








avatar
Ptolemy
Chancellor - Masters Council

Join date : 2009-10-22
+Light/-Dark : 95
Posts : 4647

Experience Points : 13391
Location : MN
Comments :

Back to top Go down

Re: DoaJ Coordination thread

Post by Aardvark on Tue Aug 31, 2010 7:57 pm

I predict Dray will say: "I hate you..."

Anyway, the real plan is for Pto and Sarus to come aboard the ship, see Dray and Thing talking, interrupt, Pto gets his information and is off to Aragorn while Sarus stays with Dray to help root out the spy.

_________________

Thanks to Dr.Rabbit for the epic sig ^.^

Current rank:




Previous ranks:












avatar
Aardvark
Prime Minister

Join date : 2009-10-21
+Light/-Dark : -194
Posts : 8522

Experience Points : 24547
Location : Maryland, U.S.A.
Comments : Likes: Games, Books, Anime, Star Wars.
Dislikes: Punks, Douches, Ignorant People.

Back to top Go down

Re: DoaJ Coordination thread

Post by Ptolemy on Tue Aug 31, 2010 8:05 pm

you are no fun at all...

_________________

Life is hard... Its even harder when you are stupid...
John Wayne








avatar
Ptolemy
Chancellor - Masters Council

Join date : 2009-10-22
+Light/-Dark : 95
Posts : 4647

Experience Points : 13391
Location : MN
Comments :

Back to top Go down

Re: DoaJ Coordination thread

Post by Thing on Tue Aug 31, 2010 8:08 pm

Why does dray have to die..?

Did I miss something?

_________________


SGT Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band fan | DTT | I didn't say I pirated, but let's just say it's awesome.
avatar
Thing
Senator - Forum Enforcer

Join date : 2009-10-22
+Light/-Dark : 143
Posts : 6858

Experience Points : 15200
Location : New York
Comments : A is Atari, the first on the scene. B is Bits, be they 8 or 16. C for Controller Cords stretched ‘cross the floor. D for the Dreamcast, a console no more. E is Ecco, the porpoise-y sea hero. F is for Fantasies Final… Look, chocobos! G is for Genesis, 16-bit mirth. H is for Hyrule, land of Link’s birth. I is for Infocom’s text-based frivoloties. J is for John Carmack’s first-person novelties. K for Konami’s dark vampire tales. L for the Lemmings who march without fail. M is for Mario. Run, goombas, run! N for Nintendo, the first name is fun. O is for Oddworld, with games strage and clever. P is for Pac-Man, who caused quite a fever. Q is for Q-Bert’s curse-filled speech bubble. R is for Ridley, who gave Samus trouble. S is for Sonic, his fleet feet reknowned. T is for Tetris blocks falling in mounds. U is for Ulala’s fast, funky feet. V is for Video cards, fast obsolete. W for Wizardry; through dungeons we’d scurry. X for the Xbox, as big as Missouri. Y is for Yoshi, a plumber’s best friend. Z is for Zelda, and here this rhyme ends.
See ya in anothah life, brothah. - Desmond Hume




Back to top Go down

Re: DoaJ Coordination thread

Post by Aardvark on Tue Aug 31, 2010 8:44 pm

Sure I am I just have to be tired, half-awake, or too doped on pain killers from the surgery. =P

And yes Thing, you missed [sarcasm][/sarcasm]

_________________

Thanks to Dr.Rabbit for the epic sig ^.^

Current rank:




Previous ranks:












avatar
Aardvark
Prime Minister

Join date : 2009-10-21
+Light/-Dark : -194
Posts : 8522

Experience Points : 24547
Location : Maryland, U.S.A.
Comments : Likes: Games, Books, Anime, Star Wars.
Dislikes: Punks, Douches, Ignorant People.

Back to top Go down

Re: DoaJ Coordination thread

Post by Ptolemy on Tue Aug 31, 2010 9:06 pm

Aardvark wrote:Sure I am I just have to be tired, half-awake, or too doped on pain killers from the surgery. =P

And yes Thing, you missed [sarcasm][/sarcasm]

mmmmm...

Pain killers...

_________________

Life is hard... Its even harder when you are stupid...
John Wayne








avatar
Ptolemy
Chancellor - Masters Council

Join date : 2009-10-22
+Light/-Dark : 95
Posts : 4647

Experience Points : 13391
Location : MN
Comments :

Back to top Go down

Re: DoaJ Coordination thread

Post by Dray The Fingerless on Tue Aug 31, 2010 9:06 pm

i would then come back as a force ghost and haunt you till you die old man....

anyway, Thing is part of my crew now, and he is with me in this mission. My ship is somewhere...around. Hidden.

_________________

"Life and power should be logarithmic"

avatar
Dray The Fingerless
Senate Representative

Join date : 2009-10-21
+Light/-Dark : 265
Posts : 10355

Experience Points : 24479
Location : your FACE is a location.
Comments : FIRST!

Back to top Go down

Re: DoaJ Coordination thread

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Page 4 of 31 Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 17 ... 31  Next

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum